LuceWoman

I wrote a blog

This is fucking hilarious…

Fabulous AND apt. (via )

Perk of the Job

Me: Any chance you could be pregnant?
Patient (British, caucasian, 19): No, I've never had sexual intercourse.
Me: Oh! No chance of pregnancy then! 
Patient: But....I do have anal intercourse regularly.
Me: Oh! 
 (Pause whilst I scratch my head)
Me: None of my business but may I ask why you have anal intercourse regularly but have never had normal intercourse?
Patient: Because my boyfriend and I are Christians and don't believe in sex before marriage.

My very talented nephew. »

Sam is 16. He writes, records, videos and performs these songs. Mostly in a van.

Cleared out my bedroom and disinfected my greenhouse today. Then I planted next year’s garlic. My life is a metaphor and every action writhes with significance.

Perk of the Job

Me: Ever had any problems with your health?
Little Girl: Um.... I had something wrong with my heart when I was a baby but it's better now. 
Me: Did you have to have an operation?
Little Girl: No.
Me: Just a murmer was it?
Little girl (indignant): No! It was TRUE!

How will kids ever learn how to sit at a table and eat if every restaurant and cafe comes equipped with crayons and Lego? When are these kids going to learn how to behave like adults? Oh yeah. Never.

It’s dark in here

Oh. Am I supposed to say anything else? I don’t know my way around here at all and I’m fumbling blindly. Sorry if I touch something I shouldn’t.

Seems like Twitter but with the facility to rant and ramble. I might like it.